it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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