There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
