the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
