went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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