"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
