Someone shit on the floor
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
