He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
