i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
