yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize