Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize