yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
