I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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