in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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