Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
