Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
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It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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