its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
