i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
