whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize