she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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