Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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