I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
