she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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