Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i dont even know how to be here
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
