Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
