So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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