im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
