would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
