awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
