The best revenge is premature balding
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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