O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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