Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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