im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize