ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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