is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
