I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you win again, gameday.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
