This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
