I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
