Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
