If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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