I'm eating all of the evidence.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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