if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
