She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
