So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
