She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
