Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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