i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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