Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
