After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
did you just send me my own nude
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
