Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
