So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
