that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
