He kissed a someone with a penis
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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