I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Never underestimate the power of titties
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