On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize