Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
