Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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