i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
