My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
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Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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