apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
