Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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