the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
