I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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