ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
