Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
