i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
