if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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